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My girlfriend told me a story recently of what I would consider the perfect date. It struck me as a beautiful compromise for the situation. Most people think of a first date as dinner and movie or something similar. The situation these people found themselves in called for something different and I think this situation is not unique so I am going to share the solution with you!
Some background is required here. My girlfriend (we’ll call her Lisa) was at the time about 27 years old and had been single for sometime after a bad experience with a man. She is a stunning girl, and most people would not know she was transsexual by looking at her. She used to be somewhat of party girl and was known in certain circles as TS, mostly in the dance club scene. She hung out with other Tgirls of various phases of transition and some of her friends were obviously “boys in a dress” and Lisa made no secret of her sex.
Lisa was hanging out with friends one night at the local dance club and she spotted a guy who seemed out of place in the 20 something crowd. He was older, late 30s early 40s and seemed uncomfortable with the loud music and jostling crowd. She caught him glancing at her and they both smiled, then she lost him in the crowd.
Later she went to smoke in the glassed off smoking area and he was there in the corner smoking and nursing a beer. She asked for a light, he gave it to her. They started some small talk when a guy comes up to him and says, “Hey, you think this is a beautiful woman, but it’s really a man!” and then laughs and walks off. The guy was shocked that someone would be so rude! Lisa was embarrassed, mostly for the guy since she was used to rude assholes doing things like that.
The guy just shrugged, held out his hand and said “I’m Jim, and you are?” She tells him her name and he rounds her up a drink. They had a few drinks then Jim buys her breakfast at the nearby Denny’s. They exchange phone numbers and go on their way.
A few days later, Lisa finds herself thinking of Jim and decides to call him up and thank him for breakfast. She is not sure why, the guy is obviously at least 15 years her senior and unremarkable looking. He was very nice and gentlemanly to her though and that is rare in her circles. She calls and Jim remembers her and said he was thinking of calling her himself. They chat for a while and Jim seems like he wants to ask her out, but is hesitating. Lisa, no shy girl, asks him if he would like to see her again and he hesitates and says yes. He invites her to an out of the way coffee shop for lunch. After some small talk, Jim started to talk and let everything out.
He had noticed her before in the club and was very attracted to her. He knew she was TS and didn't mind. The problem was that he was in the middle of a divorce and for his job was being investigated to renew his security clearance. He did not need complications with his divorce or his job. He explained that without a clearance he would lose his job. That was why he was hesitant to be seen with her. He really wanted to see her more often, but was hesitant to go to places where she was known as TS.
He asked her to come to the condo that his company was renting for him. He was from out of town and was in town working for a few months. Lisa really liked the guy and decided to go for it. She set a date for the next night and they parted ways.
She arrived at the condo around 7 pm and Jim let her in. She was stunned. On the table were places set for two, candles and wine. Jim handed her a dozen red roses and escorted her into the little dining room. Soft music was playing and wonderful cooking smells came from the kitchen. He sat her at the table, pulling out her chair and just generally treating her like a princess. He served dinner, and they chatted as they ate. After dinner, they went out on the balcony, 40 floors over the city and drank more wine and talked until 4 AM. Jim escorted her to a cab, paid and tipped the driver and chastely kissed her on the cheek. The evening was wonderful for both of them!
This went on for the rest of the time Jim was in the city. They did go out to a few obscure restaurants where Jim wouldn't run into anyone he knew from the job, but mostly they met at Jim’s condo. The night before Jim left to go back home, he told Lisa he loved her. She felt she was falling for him also, and told him so. She really did not think it would work out with Jim, there seemed to be too many complications.
Jim went home and would call her from time to time and they kept in touch. One night Jim called her to say he was back in town and could she meet him. She agreed and met him at another condo she figured his company was renting for him. Jim gave her the same treatment, flowers, a gourmet dinner and soft, romantic music. After dinner, Jim took her on the balcony, pored her some wine and said he was back for good. The divorce was final, the clearance investigation over and his company had transferred him to her city. He said he wanted to see more of her and would try to live a normal life with her, taking her out, meeting her family and friends. He said it would take time for her to meet his friends and for him to adjust to being madly in love with a transsexual. There were still some unanswered questions in his mind and he had to work those out for himself. She was shocked and amazed that this guy had done all of that to be with her.
They became a fixture around town, always out together. They are well known at the local hang outs near their condo. Jim ignores all the rude questions and comments. His friends come to dinner and play cards, just like normal folks. They don’t suspect anything; some are very envious of him and his beautiful girlfriend. They have been living together now for three years and while it hasn't been the perfect story book romance, they love each other and make their relationship work. Jim still treats her like a princess and a wife. To her, he is the perfect husband. Sometimes, I can't help myself but be jealous of the happiness Lisa has found with her man. I am of course very happy for her and for Jim, who is just a great guy. Where is my Prince Charming? I am sure he will sweep me away someday soon!
The moral of this (absolutely true!) story is that if it is meant to be, there are ways around the obstacles to a successful TS relationship, if you only try.