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Are there men who want to date pre-op transsexuals?
Of course! If no one wanted to date us, I would be very lonely! What type of men want to have a relationship with girls like me? Well, all types really. Conventional wisdom has it that most guys who show interest in TS's are bisexual. I have not really found that to be the case. Most of my longer term boyfriends and the boyfriends of my girlfriends swore up and down that they were straight! They were definitely NOT turned on by men and seemed to have nothing in common with my gay friends. Some of the guys I meet (who know I am a shemale) are looking for cheap sexual thrills. I shun these men like the plague! I am not a sexual toy. Some men find TS's to be more feminine than real girls and some just plain like transsexuals.
TS's are very feminine, more so than most women! Many men I meet are looking for a very feminine woman, and with the current state of affairs regarding gay and transgendered marriage, a limited commitment. We can not get pregnant and can not get married. This makes some guys feel more secure. Some men my girlfriends and I date have had bad experiences with real girls and are looking for a girl who can understand them. After all we were men once ourselves.
Some guys I know or meet ask me for advice. "I met this TS a club and I am really attracted to her,am I gay?" No!! Gay men are not attracted to shemales. Gay men are attracted to men. I am not sure there is a category for men who truly prefer shemales but gay you are not.
What do I look for in a guy?
What does any woman, TS or not, look for in a guy? A guy who appreciates me and treats me with respect; someone loyal to me and who understands that I am a woman. Read this touching story to see how to treat any woman, not just a TS.
What a pre-op transsexual woman wants in a guy is what most any woman wants in a guy. If you want a relationship with a TS, approach her like you would any woman. Be aware that she is expecting someone looking for sex only. You need to get past her armor! Treat her like a LADY! If you want to get past her suspicions about your intentions, offer her flowers, not a romp in the bedroom. If you hit it off, the sex will follow, just like in any relationship. What real girls appreciate, TS’s appreciate.
Don't treat her like a freak. She has endured a lot of pain and abuse over her choice to realize her dream to be a woman, and has spent a lot of money trying to correct a what she considers a genetic mistake. Be understanding of the situation she finds herself in. Be a gentleman. Get past the fact that she has a penis, in fact, if you are truly interested in a relationship, you will soon forget about that anyway. Take her out to dinner or a movie. Talk to her like you would any woman and listen to her. Take the relationship in baby steps. Hold her hand, kiss her (chastely!) at the end of the date. Try to take time to develop the relationship, especially given that you may be experiencing conflicting feelings and emotions.
I asked my boyfriends about how it feels to be in a relationship with me. They generally say it is scary and disorienting at first. They are afraid of people finding out they are dating a shemale. They feel people will not understand. But the ones who truly care about me hang in there and continue the relationship. Be aware, that a long term relationship with a TS is somewhat stressful. I will address those issues in a later article.
If you still want to see her again, take the next steps. If you are strong enough and secure enough in yourself, a relationship with a TS can work and can be a very rewarding and beautiful relationship.
Dealing with BS when dating a TS
If you go out with a TS more than once, you are bound to run into some rude and bigoted people who know her secret. For some reason, certain people think it is OK to be rude or insensitive to a shemale. Most TS are known around the town they live in and some people know who and what they are. Expect the whispering and even out right rude comments. Plan for this eventuality. The best approach is to ignore it. If it continues, don't be afraid to let the management of the place you are at know that someone is being annoying. This behavior usually occurs in bars and sometimes restaurants. Your TS date will generally know how to handle the situation, so follow her lead. Remember, violence just breeds violence and is not the answer in this situation! If you are in a relationship with a TS, it is a good idea to go to the places she feels comfortable in. She has friends and aquaintences who accept who she is and she will fell happier and more secure around them. This doesn't mean you have to go to the same places all the time, but be respectful and sensitive to her need to be accepted. Like I said before, it takes extra effort to make a relationship with a TS work, only you know if it is worth it.