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This article has taken me a long time to write. I have wanted to write about this topic so that all my readers will understand what it is like to have a long term relationship with a male to female transgender. It is hard to write because it is hard to address some of the negative issues I see in myself. Transsexuals have some emotional issues just because they are transsexual. It is very hard to realize and accept that you should be a girl when you are born a man. It is even harder to do something about it. Society is cruel and being different makes life harder. But, to be happy and comfortable with your self is probably the best way to live a relatively happy life. So I am going to try to give you some insight into transgender relationships.
I have talked to my friends and their boyfriends and husbands. By the way, T-Girls consider a guy to be their husband if they live together for a long time and have a relationship close to that of a married couple. I don’t personally know any T-Girl who is actually married legally. See my other article about Gay Marriage for more info. This article is not really about me personally. I have had relationships in the past, but none as long as some of my friends. I will try to discuss my feelings and experiences a little, but I will mostly talk about my friends experiences.
To start, I will try to explain about the differences between a “regular” hetero relationship and a relationship between a guy and a T-Girl. First, every guy I know who dates or is in a long term relationship with a shemale considers himself to be straight. They will argue that point and get very upset if you try to suggest they are gay. They will play with your cock, suck it, let you cum on them and even take it in the butt, but they will still say it is not the same as being gay. The guys I know would never even consider doing that with another man. Most of these guys aren’t anti gay or homophobic, they are just not into it.
These guys are not into men at all. Likewise, gay men are not into transgender at all. There is a definite distinction between a T-girl and a gay man. All of my transgender friends consider themselves straight also. This may be confusing, but a real T-Girl who believes she should have been born a woman considers herself a woman and so if she is going out with a guy, she is in a straight relationship. Get it? Kind of confusing sometimes, but it is important to understand how transgender women and their guys think to understand how the relationships work.
So what is the big deal if everyone thinks they are straight and they are in a relationship with someone they love? How is this different than a regular relationship? Shouldn't everyone be well adjusted and happy? Well, they should, but life in the real world is not like that. There are all kinds of issues that come up in a shemale relationship. One of the biggest is keeping a secret for a long time. Most of my friend's significant others do not want anyone to find out they are with a transgender. Most have jobs and it would be detrimental to their careers if their boss or coworkers knew they were living with a shemale. So, unless the girl is completely passable, company picnics are out. Also the family of the guy probably doesn't know. Sometimes this makes for a stressful situation. Most of the T-Girls I know are known as shemales around town. So it becomes difficult for the couple to go out with coworkers or casual acquaintances for fear they might run into someone who knows and might say something. There are plenty of jerks out there who would have no problem making remarks right to the girls face in front of everyone.
The transgender usually has no problems bringing her mate around other T-Girls and their mates so most of the time the couples tend to hang out together. This makes for a pretty limited social life if there are only a few T-Girls around town. This is just one of the social issues that confront the people in a transgender relationship.
Since transgender can not marry some one of the same sex that they were born, social issues such as insurance, inheritance rights, property ownership, etc that are common rights for hetero couples are denied to the transgender couple. I have written about these issues elsewhere, so I won’t go more in depth, but this is also a cause of stress in the relationship. To be fair, gay couples also have this problem so it is not unique to transgender relationships.
In part two I will go into some of the emotional issues that face shemales in a serious relationship with a guy.